i grew up with the calmest mother in the world (really i rarely, if ever, remember her raising her voice or losing her temper.) when she got *really* upset, she would whistle. that's it. just whistle to calm down. so in having that wonderful example of patience, i feel like i have a high standard of mothering to live up to. not that she or anyone else has told me so, but i just feel like i need to stay calm at all times. which i don't. which leads to guilt.
guilt is not healthy. it's not productive. and it doesn't solve anything.
sadie is a very active, lively, and talkative almost 2 year old. she is precious to me, and i love her so so much! but a lot of days, she wears me out. i start the day calm and patient, but some days (like today), i end up feeling exhausted and sad that i've raised my voice to her or spatted her leg.
i wonder if i'm mothering her "correctly"...i wonder if i let her watch one too many cartoons...did i let some naughty behavior go because i'm tired, and then discipline her later out of frustration?
i know that there are real, serious problems out there like not having food or a home for your children, but i take the privilege of being a mama very seriously, and i just want to get it right. i want her to grow up to love spirtual things and to be an encouragement to others.
i want to be the best mother i can be.
i pray for patience and love daily, and i know it's a constant thing to work on (especially when raising kids!)
and i have finally realized, with the help of my sweet husband, i can't control some things. like if she talks too much when she's needing to be quiet, or she doesn't want to eat certain things at mealtimes, or she doesn't always act the way i think she should.
she's unique.
she's a sweet girl.
and i love her more than my own life.
Wow, were you inside my head today? I often feel the same way and have to remind myself that we are ALL a work in progress and we do the best we can. Love the Blog!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thanks for the compliments, but I didn't always stay calm---secondly, you are a wonderful mother and I look at you & Susanne and wish I had done some things the way you two have done them...but we do the best we can at the time. Just remember you will never do things perfectly--just as I didn't! Keep looking forward to improvement but don't forget to look back for satisfaction! Love, Mom
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are on the right track Danielle...and you have the right goals in mind. Don't be too hard on yourself...God isn't finished with Sadie or with you yet. He is the most forgiving and loving heavenly Father...and each day we get another chance to do better.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You... and your beautiful little girl...and your hubby too!
Linda
I think Sadie needs a sibling to play with. You'll be amazed how it will change everything.
ReplyDeletei think every mother thinks this! i pray every.single.day for patience and sometimes lose it before i even drop mckinlee off for school. i think the whole key is that we are not in control. i don't feel the need to be a control freak about anything else. but when it comes to mck, i feel like she should act, look, respond, etc. the way i want her to. when she doesn't, i guess i feel like it reflects on me instead of realizing she is her own person. sorry for the tangent...this post caused me to do a lot of self-reflection.
ReplyDeletei think you're a great mom--and the good thing is that they won't remember all the times we messed up when they were little!!
love the memory of mom whistling--gosh, we knew she was mad then!
I think that the very fact you worry about doing it right, says that you are! If you didn't care what kind of mother you were, you wouldn't ask yourself those questions! It comes with the territory! I have had this conversation with my husband many times too! Am I too protective? Do I spend enough time with her? Am I nurturing? I guess that "worry" goes along with the job description! You and Mike really seem to be doing a great job!
ReplyDeletei love.love this! i constantly wonder if i am mothering my girl correctly too. she is a spirited little girl who tests boundaries a lot. and i am always wondering, worrying. glad to know i'm not alone. thank you for this post :)
ReplyDeletehttp://penelopeblue.blogspot.com/